So This Is Love?
by MondayFriday
Summary: Lapis has started over from her previous relationship with Jasper and is now in a happy relationship with Peridot; but when things start to get heavy with the arrival of the past, will the happy couple sink or float? Lapidot au/ human au/ Steven Universe/ Lapis Lazuli and Peridot/ A little bit of Jaspis NSFW Rated M (for later chapter) Possible abuse triggers.
1. Happy Anniversary

**A/N: I decided to write this story because a lot of you guys have been messaging me on tumblr and on FF to write a Lapidot fic. I was honestly really excited to write this even though I don't ship Lapidot (don't send any hate my way). As I've asked before; please don't ask me to upload more chapters. I will when I'm ready and when I have time. Just tell me what you like about my existing chapters. Thank you =)**

 **Warning: This story will contain abuse triggers. I will label the chapters that contain them in the authors notes. Please, for those of you who are weak of heart I ask you to turn away if it's too much to handle. Nothing should make you feel bad, even a story.**

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In the living room of her apartment Peridot flipped through 'Camp Pining Hearts' seasons she'd recorded on TV as Lapis baked in the kitchen.

"Can you believe Percy? Paulette breaks her ankle during the three-legged race and he goes back for her!" Peridot yelled, punching the pillow beside her angrily.

"It's like Percy likes to lose, I think it's kinda funny." Lapis said stirring brownie batter in a large bowl in the kitchen.

"Yeah yeah," Peridot said turning the tv off, "I'm gonna be writing letters to the studio until they put the power couple back together! Piercy OTP for life!" Peridot made an infinity loop with her thumbs and indexes.

Lapis chuckled at her fangirl girlfriend, she was always like this, so sporadic and animated. There was never a dull moment when Peridot was around, she could be annoying (as only Peridot could be) but that didn't matter to Lapis, because she loved her.

Two years ago Lapis was dating Jasper, their relationship was toxic and physically abusive, mistrust, hate, and familiarity bound them to one another. Jasper wasn't all to blame, she made attempts to leave but Lapis would reconcile with her. Finally after a heated breakup they moved out of their apartment and stayed with mutual friends separately at the behest of her close friend Steven she chose to go. It was all for the best in the end. Jasper moved away to Jersey City and she hadn't spoken to her since.

After a year Lapis met Peridot at her college, they started talking, eventually started dating and about six months ago they moved into an apartment together. Lapis wasn't in the best mental state when they first started dating, but things had improved greatly and Peridot was largely to thank for that. Some days Lapis would miss the familiar relationship she was in and Peridot respected that, she told Lapis she would leave her alone for a while, which really meant she was going to stay away from her for five minutes and then bug her again. Peridot would think of something for them both to do, which resulted in their mutual 'Camp Pining Hearts' addiction.

"Brownies are done!" Lapis called to Peridot who was already at the counter with a starry wonder in her eyes.

"I love your cookie brownies." Peridot drooled as she inhaled the sweet smell, Lapis set a plate in front of her that Peridot immediately stacked the treats on to.

Lapis walked around the counter to Peridot who was stuffing her face with treats, "Happy anniversary." Lapis said kissing Peridot's cheek.

Peridot stopped mid fatty binge, _fuck,_ she thought as she sat down her brownie, it was their one year anniversary and she'd forgotten it.

"Uh," Peridot groaned, her brain racked with guilty as she tried to think, "I have to go pick up your gift, Lazuli." Peridot said jumping out of her seat and rushing to her coat on the couch that had her car keys in it.

"Oh?" Lapis questioned, she followed Peridot to the door where the latter threw on her coat.

"I'll be right back I just need to get it!" Peridot kissed Lapis' cheek and ran out the door. She bolted to the parking garage, jumped into her car and sped away towards the mall. At the red light she dialed Amethyst's number.

"What's up P-Dot?" Amethyst answered, loud music was in the background, she was obviously at a party.

"I forgot my anniversary with Lapis, what should I get her!?" Peridot panicked.

"Ugh, it's like every time someone calls me it's some drama. Why doesn't anyone call me when things are cool?" Amethyst groaned.

"Amethyst!"

"Fine, you don't gotta yell!" Amethyst yelled into the phone, "Lapis is boring, take her to a restaurant she hasn't been to."

"Yeah, that's a great idea, Ame." Peridot giddily cheered.

"I know, I'm full of 'em." Amethyst laughed, "and if that doesn't work let her sit on your face." Amethyst hung up after that comment leaving a flustered Peridot.

Peridot finally made it to the mall where she picked out an ice blue shawl and had it wrapped in a white box with a blue bow.

Peridot made it back to her car, she called Lapis who was less than pleased.

"Peridot did you forget our anniversary?" Lapis asked more as a statement than a question. Peridot could picture her girlfriend just from her tone, pissed off with the emotionless One Punch Man face she sported when she was seriously angry.

"What?! Of course not, Lappy. I-I just had to pick up your gift, I'm coming to pick you up too, we're going out."

Lapis giggled, she had the cutest snort when she giggled "Okay, I'll get ready. I'll pick you something out too, bye." as Lapis hung up Peridot thought _Peridot, the queen of improv!_

As Lapis was picking out clothes she held up a dress to herself in the mirror, _she totally forgot our anniversary,_ she thought chuckling to herself.

 ***At the restaurant***

Peridot wore a green button down top and grey skinny jeans. Per usual she wore her short blonde hair in a high ponytail.

Lapis wore a blue strapless dress and her hair was pulled into a high bun, revealing an undercut she'd recently gotten.

The waiter seated the two as Peridot sat in her chair, which was slightly taller than her. The waiter brought two phone books for her to sit on; she was slightly embarrassed but that feeling subsided as she felt Lapis grab her hand from across the table.

"This is really nice, Peri." Lapis said locking her fingers with Peridot's.

The short woman was truly fixed on her, "It really is." Peridot lifted Lapis' hand to kiss it.

They sat for a while drinking and talking about life and funny memories.

"Remember that time we went to the carnival and Mr. Smiley tried to hit on Garnet?" Lapis giggled.

"Ha! Yeah, he was all like "Well aren't you a tall drink of hot chocolate." and she was like "Garnet out."" Peridot said making glasses out of her hands (to resemble Garnet's shades). They both laughed, at that moment Peridot remembered the gift she'd gotten Lapis.

"Close your eyes, Lapis." Peridot said digging through her bag.

"What are you doing, P?" Lapis asked as she covered her eyes.

"You'll see" Peridot retrieved the gift box from her bag "Okay, Lapis." Lapis put the glasses down and saw the box.

"I even got you a blue bow, I got yo number" Peridot winked at Lapis who immediately started to laugh/snort as she took the box and opened it.

"Peridot..." Lapis said in amazement as she held the garment up, "It's beautiful, now I feel bad I only made you cookie brownies." Lapis nervously laughed.

"No, I love cookie brownies!" Peridot nearly jumped out of her seat to assure her lover, "You shouldn't feel bad especially after I forgot our anniversary." Peridot laughed- wait... _Crap_ Peridot thought to herself as Lapis smiled. "Well not forget! Well you see- I- we it's like-" before she could dig a deeper hole for herself Lapis stopped her.

"It's okay peridot, I knew you didn't remember." Lapis smiled, playing with the rim of her wine glass with her finger.

"I'm really sorry, I felt really bad about it. It is our one year anniversary and I forgot it!" Peridot tucked her head between her arms and bunched her knees to her chest. She looked so cute when she pouted, it upset Lapis to see her sad, but the greatest part about Peridot is she is so easy to cheer up.

"Peridot," Lapis cooed which made Peri lift her head up to see her girlfriend, "I don't care if you forget our anniversary, your here with me, I don't need a gift or a day to prove you love me. Look at what you did already: you rush out to get me a gift, you book a table for us at a fancy restaurant and you gave me the most romantic kiss I've ever had." Lapis smiled.

"I haven't kissed you yet." Peridot said raising a brow to Lapis who batted her eyelashes and puckered her lips.

"OH!" Peridot ran over to Lapis side of the table, standing on her tip toes as she pulled her beautiful girlfriend into a clumsy but passionate kiss. Lapis broke the kiss and pulled Peridot into a hug.

Over Lapis shoulder Peridot caught sight of someone familiar, It was Jasper and she was with someone.

"Oh shit," Peridot said under her breath.

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 **A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Back from hiatus and I give you guys a ship I've never written about and I give you guys drama *Peridot voice* Praise me! Praise me!**

 **Anyway, *cough* you amazing beautiful people. A little background on the story:**

 **I decided to write this story because its been stirring around in my head. All the new episodes, the cyberbullying with Lauren Zuke (Leave that woman alone, she has done nothing to anyone), and of course *Cries painful tears* My big buff cheeto puff's corruption, I just wanted to write a Lapidot fic. No shade to any of my OTPs (Jaspidot, Jaspis) but I want to try my hand at ships I don't necessarily ship because the fan art is pretty... *nosebleed***

 **Anyway, can't wait til part 2! (wait...I have to write it...)**


	2. What do you want from me?

**A/N: So originally this was supposed to be a Peridot x Lapis and Jasper x Pearl fanfic. But after writing this chapter I decided against it. I know I've been gone a hell of a long time but I'm going to update all of my stories as soon as I can. Also, this chapter is dedicated to all my loyal followers, you guys rock. =)**

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There she was, Jasper, the object of all Lapis' turmoil. The reason Lapis woke up crying in the night shaking from nightmares she had of her traumatic past, here of all places on Peridot and Lapis' one-year anniversary.

 _Fan-fucking-tastic._

"Um- say Lapis," Peridot said snapping her fingers to get their waiter's attention, "We should go home for dessert. Whaddya say? Cookie-brownies, naked in bed, netflix and chill." Peridot wiggled her brows to her lover, her eyes shifting back and forth between her date and Jasper.

"You had me at 'dessert'." Lapis flirted.

The waiter brought the bill to the table, as Peridot reeled herself back to earth after seeing the bill, she stuffed the necessary amount into the check book and grabbed Lapis' hand, pulling her towards the exit.

"I have to go to the bathroom before we go." Lapis said loosening her hand from Peridot's tight, sweaty, little grip.

"NO!" Peridot yelled, earning the stares of most everyone in the restaurant. She looked around nervously realizing how strange she must look, composing herself and straightening out her shirt she folded her arms behind her back and looked at Lapis "I-I just think it'd be better to hold it until we get home." she said with an unconvincingly nervous smile.

"I've been on a water diet, Peridot. I need to pee" Lapis placed her hand on Peridot's shoulder before lowering herself into a chaste kiss, "Go to the car I'll be quick." She walked towards the bathroom and to Peridot's relief she couldn't see Jasper anymore.

Peridot sighed, walking out of the restaurant the cool air of evening kissed her skin, the blue chrysanthemums caught her eye. Chrysanthemums were the first flowers Peridot got Lapis, it was actually how they started dating. Peridot would leave a bouquet of chrysanthemums on Lapis' desk, in her gym locker, and even outside her dorm door. Peridot honestly just thought they were beautiful and matched Lapis' dyed blue hair, but one day Lapis caught her putting them outside her door and the jig was up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~* **One year ago today*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

There Peridot stood bent over a bouquet of blue chrysanthemums. She was looking up at an unamused Lapis who was wearing an oversized varsity shirt. her legs bare, showing off several permanently healed bruises.

"So you're the one whose been leaving those." Lapis said.

Peridot stood skittishly, the flowers protectively clutched to her breast, "I-I Just thought I mean I." Peridot choked, "YOUR HAIR'S BLUE!" she extended a finger up at Lapis' hair.

As if she didn't know her hair was blue, Lapis pulled a strand from her bang to look at, "Yeah it is pretty blue, isn't it?" She said sardonically. "But seriously, why have you been sending me these?" she asked humorlessly, this time expecting an answer.

Peridot swallowed her fear, she could feel the blush spreading across her face, her ears a burning red. "They're chrysanthemums... they-you give them to people to show loyalty and devotion," Peridot chided herself for slightly yelling. "I just thought that... I like... you..."

Lapis didn't look phased by the love declaration, quite the opposite. She seemed over all the same as when she first opened the door.

"So you think you're in love with me?" Lapis said stepping closer Peridot, "people think they know what love is and they really don't. They think its saying those three words, as if speaking it into existence, but they're wrong. Love doesn't exist, it isn't real and anyone that tells you otherwise is a damn liar and probably just wants to fuck you." Lapis face was cold now, so dull and uncaring, as if she was reciting some mantra to herself and not to the woman in front of her.

"Is that what you want to do?" Lapis began to close the gap between them, Peridot's back hit the wall, Lapis rested her forearms on the wall next to Peridot's head, their faces inches apart, "Do you want to fuck me?" Lapis purred, her breath hot against Peridot's cheek.

"I-I DON'T WANT THAT!" Peridot yelled, her cheeks burned with anxiety, her eyes streamed with tears. This startled Lapis, she backed away from her until she was leaning against the frame of her door. "I... I always see you in class or on campus and you look so sad, but not just sad...lonely. I really want to get to know you. I don't love you, I don't even know your name. If you think that love and sex are the same thing you're wrong. I-I've never loved anyone before so I can't say that I know what it feels like, but I know I feel something for you! I bought the flowers because I was too nervous to talk to you or ask you out." Peridot said sadly. However her blushing face contorted into a scowl for her next confession, "And for your information, I've never had sex before so I'm not looking for it!"

Lapis looked surprised, her eyes never leaving Peridot's. They stood paralyzed for several minutes, Peridot couldn't take it any longer, she turned to leave.

"Wait!" Lapis yelled. Peridot jumped, but halted nonetheless. "I...If you still want to, I really like the flowers you send me."

With this Peridot turned back around and handed the bouquet to Lapis.

"What's your name?" Lapis asked.

"P-Peridot Montmorillonite Diamond"

Lapis giggled, "Mont-who now?"

"Montmorillonite, my dad was a sculptor and my mom was ready to leave the hospital." Peridot said dryly.

"Oh, I'm Lapis, Lapis Lazuli."

"Nice to meet you Lazuli." Peridot blushed, her green rimmed glasses perching against her cheeks as she smiled. "I should get going..." she started down the hallway.

Lapis watched as she walked away.

 ***Several days later***

"Amethyst, I'm leavin'!" Peridot yelled walking out of her dorm room a crunch startled her as she stepped out the door. Looking down there was a bouquet of green dahlias, she picked them up and read the card placed inside.

 _Lapis Lazuli._  
 _555-001-0000_

"Oh my stars..." Peridot gasped, "She likes me!" Peridot yelled happily as she jumped around the hallway laughing like an idiot.

"SHUT UP!" someone yelled from their dorm.

"Shut the fuck up, Peridot!" another person yelled.

"I got exams in an hour! If you don't go some where with that!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* **Present Day** *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Peridot smiled at the flowers, so full of life and potential just like Lapis.

"Got a light?" a voice startled Peridot out of her daydream. She turned to look at the outsider. It was Jasper.

Peridot was scared out of her mind, who wouldn't be? Jasper was a towering 7 feet 2 inches, menacing piercing hazel eyes, her wild thick platinum blond hair dangling messily behind her, a cigarette clutched in the corner of her mouth.

Peridot shook herself out of her shock "Y-yeah" she dug into her pocket and pulled out a lighter Lapis gave her after she quit smoking. Jasper bent down for her to light her cigarette.

"'Preciate it." Jasper said standing back up, taking a drag off her cigarette.

"I thought you were gonna wait in the car, Peri." Lapis said walking over to Peridot. Immediately after hearing her voice Peridot and Jasper both turn to look at her.

Lapis locked eyes with Jasper, fear etched onto her face "Jasper" she whispered.

"Lapis..." Jasper staggered.

"What..." Lapis inhaled, summoning her courage, "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"You look good, Lapis." Jasper said walking closer to her.

"What are you doing here?" Lapis asked backing away.

"Best bar in town" Jasper said shacking a beer she was holding in her hand, "Why are you here?"

"You know that's not what I meant, why are you in the city? How did you know I'd be here?"

"Do you own the town now?" Jasper laughed, venom dripping on each word, "Last I checked it was a free country." Jasper took another drag off her cigarette and exhaled it, making sure to blow to smoke towards Lapis "Relax, I didn't come here for you, I have business in the city." Jasper pulled the still fresh cigarette from her mouth.

"Still smoke?" Jasper asked trying to hand Lapis her cigarette.

"I quit..." for the first time Lapis looked at Peridot, walking over to her she tugged at Peridot's hand, "let's go, I don't want to be here any longer."

"Oh..." Jasper put two and two together, "you're fucking this shrimp? Ha, this is beneath even you."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Lapis said standing side by side with Peridot.

"Let's go Lappy." Peridot tried to sound strong, but she was tortured by anger in her heart, not just at Jasper but at herself. Here was the woman who caused the love of her life such anguish yet she couldn't even put a sentence together. Lapis only showed her a picture of Jasper she had from an old wallet; she never said anything about Jasper being this big.

Jasper sized up the two, the humor was out of her, she seemed... irritated.

"This is a waste of my time." Jasper took a final drag from her cigarette before flicking the hot end at Peridot, it left a black burn on her shirt. "See you later, brat." Jasper mockingly laughed. She walked over to a black car, got in and drove off.

"Its okay, she's gone... now we can finish our-" Peridot started, but she was ignored by Lapis who protectively hugged herself, walking towards Peridot's car.

"...anniversary..." Peridot whined, walking after her girlfriend.

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 **AE/N:** Will Peridot and Lapis recover? Will Jasper come back to screw up their relationship? Did they tip their waiter?! Tune in next time for the next installment of 'As The Gems Turn'  
Kidding, next chapter should be up when I write it =) thank you guys for being so patient.


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